Staying Calm & Merry: Simple Stress-Busting Strategies for a Joyful Season
Sometimes, you’re counting down the days to the holiday season, and other times you’re just counting down the days until the fa-la-la is over. When I was younger, the holiday season used to be my favorite time of year—cold air, hot cocoa, sweet treats, cozy candles, family gatherings, GIFTS, no school, and truly enjoying life. Now that I’m older, though, the merry isn’t merrying like it used to.
Between budgeting for gifts (in this economy?!), social events, travel plans, and feeling obligated to say “yes” even when we’re running on empty, the holiday season can start to feel like a marathon. As much as I love the holidays, sometimes it feels like this time of year throws our routines so far off track that it’s hard to get back on the wagon. And yes, I know, it’s a bit early to be writing about this, especially as a Dutchie. But with Thanksgiving coming up for many of you in November, it’s never too early to start prepping for a stress-free holiday season—and that’s exactly what we’re diving into today.
Why is the holiday season so stressful when it should be fun?
The holiday season seems like it should be a time for celebration, connection, and joy. So, why does it so often feel the opposite? There’s this pressure around the holidays to have everything perfectly planned, to make memories that are “Instagram-worthy,” and to somehow create a magical experience for ourselves and others. We end up with a holiday to-do list that could rival Santa’s: gift shopping, event planning, traveling, cooking, decorating… the list goes on.
Then there’s the financial side. Holidays can bring significant expenses, from buying presents to travel and holiday meals. And with every gift purchased or event attended, it’s easy to feel stretched thin—not just financially but emotionally.
And let’s not forget the social expectations. For many, the holiday season involves gatherings with friends and family, which can sometimes bring its own set of challenges. There’s pressure to make everything perfect, say “yes” to every invitation, and even reconnect with people we may not be close to. For some, the holidays can be a reminder of loss, loneliness, or past struggles, adding to the emotional weight of the season.
I see you and I hear you. However, no matter what situation you’re in, good preparation is half the battle. With some stress-busting strategies, we can reclaim the joy and make the season truly merry and bright.
The Strategies
Set Realistic Expectations
One of the biggest sources of holiday stress comes from setting expectations that are hard to meet. Whether it's envisioning the perfect family gathering, expecting to attend every holiday party, or planning elaborate meals and decorations, it’s easy to get caught up in holiday ideals. Try this: take a step back and ask yourself what really matters to you this season. If the pressure of perfection is weighing you down, focus on creating meaningful moments rather than picture-perfect ones. If you’re not in the mood to celebrate at all, that is okay too! Don’t force yourself.
Pro Tip: Write down your top three priorities for the holiday season—whether it’s quality time with loved ones, some peaceful alone time, or a low-stress gathering. Use these priorities as a guide for making decisions that align with your own version of holiday joy.
Say No and Set Boundaries
The holidays can bring more invitations and commitments than any other time of year, and saying “yes” to everything is a recipe for burnout. Instead, give yourself permission to say “no” to activities or events that don’t truly align with what you want. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down; it means you’re choosing to protect your energy and prioritize your well-being.
Pro Tip: If saying “no” feels uncomfortable, try practicing gentle phrases like, “I’d love to, but my schedule is full,” or “Thanks for inviting me, but I need some time to recharge.” Having a few go-to responses ready can make setting boundaries feel more natural.
Plan and Budget for Gifts Thoughtfully
Gift-giving can be one of the biggest stressors of the season, especially when it comes to budgeting. Try setting a realistic spending limit for gifts early on, and consider alternatives to traditional gifts, like homemade items, experiences, or even shared activities that cost less but feel personal and meaningful. Remember, thoughtful gestures often mean more than high-dollar items, and people will appreciate the sentiment behind the gift.
Pro Tip: Make a list of everyone you’d like to give to, set a budget per person, and stick to it. If you’re worried about finances, try a Secret Santa exchange with friends or family to keep gift-giving affordable.
Create a Holiday Self-Care Ritual
Holiday chaos often means self-care is not even on our to do list. But prioritizing even a few minutes of self-care each day can make a huge difference in managing stress. Create a small self-care ritual that feels calming and grounding, like starting your morning with a quiet coffee, journaling, or taking a few minutes to meditate. Find moments to recharge, even if it’s just a 5-minute walk or lighting a candle in the evening to unwind.
Pro Tip: Make a list of three self-care practices you can do quickly (like deep breathing, stretching, or listening to a favorite song). Try to do one of these each day to keep yourself centered through the holiday rush.
Prioritize Sleep and Rest
Between holiday events, late-night gatherings, and endless to-dos, sleep can quickly fall down the list of priorities. But sleep is crucial for maintaining energy, mood, and resilience against stress. Set a “bedtime routine” for yourself, even during the holidays, and aim to get as close to your regular sleep schedule as possible. And remember, it’s okay to leave events a little early if it means getting the rest you need.
Pro Tip: Try keeping your evenings calm by reducing screen time an hour before bed. Simple practices like a warm cup of tea or a nighttime skincare routine can help signal your body that it’s time to rest.
Focus on Gratitude and Joyful Moments
When stress starts to creep in, taking time to focus on gratitude and small joys can help shift your perspective. The holidays are meant to be about celebration, after all! Try a daily gratitude practice, where you write down one or two things you’re grateful for. This helps bring positivity into each day, making it easier to deal with the busy-ness of the season.
Pro Tip: Each morning, write down something you’re looking forward to that day. It could be something small, like enjoying a favorite snack or catching up with a friend. This keeps you focused on the joyful moments, even when things feel hectic.
Conclusion
The Holidays don’t need to be a season of stress, it can be a time of joy, connection, and meaning. Whether that’s with other people or yourself. There’s actually something beautiful in putting yourself first during this busy season.
You’re celebrating yourself. With a few small adjustments, you can make space for the things that matter most while protecting your peace and energy. By setting realistic expectations, saying no when you need to, and embracing small moments of gratitude, you can stay calm and merry, exactly how you’re supposed to feel. Here’s to a Holiday season you leave more fulfilled then when you entered it.
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